Hey! It's been forever. I'm not even sure how long it will be before I blog again, but I've been wanting to sit down and try to write out what's been going on in me lately. So here's what I've been learning, and we'll see if I can get to 10 things.
1. Diet coke is still ok! I went 21 days without drinking diet coke. Miraculous I know. It taught me a couple things... 1) I definitely felt better replacing the diet coke with water, but I missed it oh so much. 2) I gained a pound and a half during the 21 days, which completely smashes all the lies that people say about diet coke making you gain weight, haha, I gained weight not drinking it. Stupid lies. Life is short, and I'm completely ok with enjoying a chemically enhanced beverage every once in awhile. Sometimes around 2pm, it makes me smile. and so for that I say thank you. :)
2. If you want to hear God speak, you have to look & listen. I feel like I go through phases where I complain that I have no direction, and I can't clearly decipher the direction God is wanting me to go...all the while I have my eyes closed and ears plugged. There is something about realizing that God will use any means necessary to speak - and it just brings overwhelming peace. He speaks through early morning sips of coffee, the words projected on a screen, a quote on an envelope, the text from a friend, the silence of a hug, the digging up of last years garden, buying the seeds for the new one, and in the plain and clear words in His book.
3. Life is better when you focus on the positive.
Just trust me on this one.
Or trust the wisk.
I honestly make it a goal each day to focus on what I have to be grateful for, rather than worrying about what I don't.
It makes for better days.
And good hair helps. ;)
4. Today is my life. Two months ago, we looked another loss in the face... and it was like someone took a gallon of ice cold water and poured it over me, then shook me, and then yelled at me, Christy WAKE UP! And I feel like I've been wide awake ever since. I think back over the last two years, and it has been marked by loss, by pain, by hurt, and all rightfully so, but it was still two years - two years that I can't get back, whether I got what my heart desired or not. Do you realize what regrets can fill a soul when you let two years slip through your fingers? I marked a lot of my days by grief, by eating everything because it was the only thing that seemed to fill me. I cried, I would lay in bed even though the world was calling my name.... and TWO YEARS passed me by. I poured my heart out in an email to a pastors' wife that we know, she has walked a similar road... her response was the ice cold water that jolted me in a much needed way. I haven't been the same since. Here is an excerpt of what she said to me:
I realized that I could not lose the present pining away for the future. Today is your life. Your husband needs the girl he fell in love with and your son needs his mom fully present. God has the grace and the peace and healing you need, it’s up to you to take them... Give God your anger and disappointment and even your numbness and depression and get it all out. Don’t carry it around. Give God your family’s future and don’t carry that burden around.
The devil wants you to stay in the fog of sadness and depression so you waste your years not bearing fruit and not really living victoriously but just surviving. Refuse that and seize the day. You were born for war and He can do it through you when you feel weak. You can do this!
After I wiped up the pool of tears, I went to my husband and poured out my heart... I voiced to him what I had needed to vocalize for so long. I told him that I refused to waste the life that I'd been given. The reality is, I could miscarry 100 more times and could look back and that be what defined my life.... instead of handing over my pain and exchanging it for the plan that is there for us. BECAUSE THERE IS ONE! It just may not look like 4 kids, two years apart, in a perfect little house, in a perfect little world where nothing ever goes wrong. Life is messy, and we're in the middle of it... but the longer we've been here the more beauty I've been able to see in realizing that OTHER PEOPLE LIVE HERE TOO!!!!! And so we march on, arms linked as a family, hearts turned over to the One that created us and we cry - We are Yours. And we trust You with our lives. You are big enough!!!
5. I love quotes. Especially ones by Ann Voskamp. Especially this one. Story of my life.
6. We have terrible three's in our house.
Oh you all thought it was terrible two's. Nope. Not here.
Oh buddy, let me tell you the little bundle of attitude we get to straighten out around here. There are days when I wonder who exchanged my sweet boy with Grumpy Pants McGee, and then I smile, because I'm sure God's smiling too, saying... oh Honey, you were worse than this.
It's testing us, but it's making us better, we're learning to be consistent (or trying anyway), and in training this child, we are taught more and more about true love & discipline. What an honor to parent - even on the hard days. He's still the CUTEST THING EVER.
You know he is too!
7. Whatever gift you've been given, use it to the full. We all have 'em, and if we'd stop comparing ourselves, and wishing for different ones, or trying to mimic someone else's.... we could create a masterpiece. What do you enjoy? What do you find yourself signing up to do voluntarily, What comes natural to you? Chances are your gifts lie in those answers... and it's taken me 29 years to figure that out. But hey, maybe I have a slim chance of getting my act together before 30 rolls around.
8. I'm officially an adventurer. Basically I joined a fun business. Last month, I decided to join the Thirty-One gifts team as a consultant. I went to one party, and after loving everything I saw and reminding myself again that My life is Now, I decided to give it a shot, and see how it went.
If you want to
know more, or want free stuff for hosting a party, You now know who to call!!! :) I'm excited like a 6th grader who just learned how to make friendship bracelets... or well maybe that was only exciting to me. Anyway.
9.
Take pictures, BE IN THEM, get them printed, and hang them up. Just one of my goals for this year.
10. Don't worry. Be thankful. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, WILL guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Be blessed friends.
