As I write this, I think about what this day has meant to me.
To most it is a Sunday.
To most it is the last day of the weekend.
To most it is their day of worship.
To most it is the dreaded day before Monday.
To most it is the best day for an afternoon nap.
To most it is....
To me, it is first day that I actually allowed this thought to cross my mind. "I am going to be okay".
And while I thank my God for the healing that He is allowing to take place in me, I have to thank Him for the way that He chose to begin this work. He's healing us through you.
We felt it on Tuesday when we got home the hospital, and the loss hadn't even become real. But the text messages just wouldn't stop coming. Who knew you could feel love so real through a keypad.
We felt it when we opened our door to a small gift on our doorstep, a small reminder to "remember".
We felt it when the flowers arrived on Wednesday, and Thursday, and Friday, again on Friday, and when they didn't stop coming....we felt it.
We felt it each time a card came in the mail.
We felt it from each sweet hug, smile, laugh from our sweet Isaak.
We felt it with every yummy meal that was provided for us.
We felt it with each email that was full of the most sincere prayers, the most real words of comfort, and the most genuine desire to do whatever it took to let us know that you were just THERE.
We felt it with each phone call, each call that said "we are here", "we are praying for you", "we love you, PERIOD".
We felt it through the sweetest song - sung out of pure love - that truly touched our heart and mended a place that hadn't been touched yet.
We have felt each prayer, as if the Lord Himself has just been slowly bringing us closer to Him. And while the confusion is just as real, the pain is still just as raw, and the void is still there - and deep -, we have been reminded, that, while it hurts, we are NOT alone..... and that may be all that He wants us to know right now.
And I will tell you this - while I don't wish this on myself or anyone, ever - I couldn't imagine facing this ALONE.
So my heart cries out today - tonight - in utter and humble gratefulness - for you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and you...and YOU!
Colson's 4th Birthday
2 days ago