The "mom"mobile

noooo...not a mini-van....(yet)

However, we did make a significant vehicle upgrade over the weekend. One that I thought was worth posting on the baby blog - since Isaak and all of his accessories had us thinking we needed more room than our Honda could offer.

After some serious wheelin and dealin, some prayer, well-needed rest, and a final negotiation in our favor - we are now proud owners of a 2007 Ford Edge! YAY. It's gorgeous, in great shape, and is soooo roomy!

Here's a picture of our car, we transfered the carseat last night and it looks fabulous. Amick loves that its black, and I love that it's still small enough that I can park it!





I still want to give some love to Hondas, until Monday, the only car I've ever driven was a Honda......they were so good to me, and maybe one day we'll meet again, but for now - Ford has come through!

Appointment update and venting

Back from the doctor - here's the update....

Still 1cm dilated.
I'm now 70% effaced - so some progress from last week!
I've dropped =)
Baby is still in position ready to go!
gained a couple more pounds for a running total of 34 - blah.

and now for the release of frustration....

Amick and I made the decision in agreement with Dr. S. to be induced next Tuesday, 4 days before my due date. The main reason being that I really want my doctor to be the one to deliver Isaak....considering that I've spent the last nine months with him as my doctor. He will be at a conference the entire week surrounding my due date, and I really would feel better knowing that he'll be there! The other reason is that I'm a planner and I'm in love with the idea of knowing that I can be ready and know the day! Plus I've been able to let my family know - and they can travel and plan to be there for the most exciting moment of our lives!!! So that is our decision. =) Key words being "OUR DECISION".

That being said - I fully appreciate all the advice and opinions - but from this point any negative statistics and outcomes would be better left unsaid. I've literally blurted out in excitement to someone: "We're being induced on the 4th!!!! Isaak will be here soon!" Only to get the reply "Oh - I'm sorry to hear that - (followed the worst most negative birth experience ever)"

Let me just go ahead and say: "I DON'T NEED TO HEAR THAT RIGHT NOW!"

Thank you to all of those who have shared encouragement and positive advice with me, it means more than you know!!!! I've been like a sponge lately - absorbing every piece of information I can get as I approach this amazing day! I guess at this point I just don't see the benefit of absorbing negative opinions - it does nothing but insert more unneeded fear and anxiety.

Here's the thing - I serve a big God, a God whose thoughts and ways are so much higher than mine, and regardless of my failed attempts to orchestrate things, He is in control and has the final say!! And I fully believe that his plan is to give me a happy, healthy baby boy named Isaak Leland Cutler.... and however short, long, happy, sad, painful, easy, hard, good, bad, or tiring the process is - when Amick and I hold that little miracle in our arms - none of it will matter!!!!!

So, stay tuned...... unless God wants to bring Isaak here before November 4, we'll wait 6 more days to see how this will all go down!

Please continue to pray for a smooth & safe delivery of a healthy happy boy!

And thanks for enduring my rant.....

1 week to go...

It's hard to imagine what I will be thinking and feeling this time next week. WOW!
My emotions are all over the place, and I'm excited, overwhelmed, elated, scared, and in awe all at the same time.
I'm glad to still be at work this week - it helps me feel productive and lets the time pass without completely freaking out about how much our lives are about to change.

My face and my feet deserve an entire blog entry of their own. I absolute cannot believe the swelling that has taken over my body. I mean, I've read about it, and knew to expect it, but not this bad. I seriously am going to take a picture of my feet so you can see how crazy fat they are. I mean - they don't even resemble my feet.

But thank God for my husband who still tells me I'm beautiful even though I know otherwise.

Oh, and what are the odds of my son being born on election day, and becoming the next president??? I'd say we have a good shot! =)



Dear Sweet Isaak:
It's hard to believe that we will get to hold you in a week. Have you really been in my tummy for 9 months?!?! At church on Sunday, I felt you moving all around, I wonder if you heard Daddy singing and if you loved it so much you couldn't be still. You are destined to be a worshipper, and I can't wait to see what God has created you to be. I love your hiccups each day, they make me smile and remind me that you are well and practicing your breathing. Keep practicing - because in no time you will be here with us!
We love you so much.
-Mommy and Daddy

Let's talk politics...

Well kinda, but not really!



Had my doctor's appointment today....and not much progress - still 1cm dilated and 50% effaced...which is still a good thing. Everything else was great.

But the big news of the day is that we tentatively have an arrival date for Mr. Isaak. I am scheduled to be induced and we will hopefully have our baby boy on ELECTION DAY, Tuesday, 11/4! I am scheduled to go in at midnight on Monday night, and they will start the process....which according to Dr. S will give us a baby boy sometime the next day! YAY.

It's taken me a couple hours to process everything - mostly because I've been anticipating the "day" for so long now, and it's actually something that I can finally visualize! HOORAY.

My last day at work will be next Friday, and I'll have next weekend and Monday to relax and make sure we're ready!!!

I can't wait!

Blessed....to be a blessing

Last night Amick and I were putting away some more of the wonderful gifts and items that we have received for baby Isaak, and I actually caught myself complaining because we had too much stuff and not anywhere to put it...

THEN

I read this blog this morning (http://www.sevenchicks.typepad.com/)
... and my heart turned inside as I realized how blessed we have been through this entire journey. My mind went back to some words from my Papa, he always says:
I am blessed so that I can be a blessing.

Shouldn't that be true for all of us?

Anyway, I am posting this morning in case any of my readers are compelled to give as well.

Please copy and paste this link below:
(I still cannot figure out how to post links through blogger, grrrrrrrr!)

http://sevenchicks.typepad.com/sevenchicks/2008/10/family-in-need.html

37 weeks - gettin close

My ticker says 21 days left. Whoa, I can't wait.

One of the pregnancy websites I always check gives me a weekly picture and shows me something that my baby is the size of (i.e. blueberry, melon, football, etc.)

Well this morning I checked, and it was a sudden reminder of how close we are....here's the picture:



My baby is the size of A BABY! it doesn't get any better than that.

I am posting this after an exhausting weekend. Amick and I spent most of the weekend doing last minute projects to be sure we are in fact ready for Isaak to be here. I am feeling it today, because my eyes are puffy and my feet are still swollen. But I have a lot to show for it:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* Car is clean (really clean)

* Carseat & base are correctly installed, thanks to hubby and the instruction manual.

* Our bedroom is re-arranged and the pack n play/bassinet is set up for Isaak to sleep in for the first month.

* Found hiding places for almost 2000 diapers (WHOA), we mostly hid them in closets and under Isaak's crib. We WILL not need to buy diapers for a long time =)

* We got a new vacuum; changed the air filters in our house; and put new batteries in our smoke detectors.

* Did a bunch of baby laundry...smells so good.

* Our cleaning lady comes one last time tomorrow and is super deep cleaning the house (yes, we've had a cleaning lady, it was my Christmas present last year, but after tomorrow we are parting ways *SAD DAY*. It will be my job from now on....)

* Isaak's bag is packed.

* Mommy & Daddy's bags are packed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Isaak:
First, we love you.
Second, we are ready for you!!! Which makes me think that you will probably keep us anxiously waiting for the next three weeks. But I am glad that we are ready either way. Your daddy and I sit and watch you move around in my tummy and we wonder what you will look like, what it will feel like to see and hold you for the first time. We sit in awe of the way you already captivate us, and there aren't enough words to explain how excited we are for you to change our world!
You are our sweet little Isaak, We are ready when you are!!!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Last Shower & Belly pic

Today, all of the ladies I work with threw me a nice shower at my office. We got a bunch of great stuff, including the diaper champ which I've been waiting on!!! I can't wait to get home and put it all away. After today, Isaak is officially set - maybe he will know I am ready, and decide to come and see us!!!!


Group photo...all the ladies that I work with.



Cute little sleeper for Isaak



Isaak loves presents!!!!



Yummy Cake!



Look at all the yummy food!



All the guys I worked with put in money and we got a TON of diapers.
Isaak is set!!!!



Let me just say again, how blessed Amick and I feel that so many people have just honored us and our baby with all of these gifts, I get overwhelmed when I think about the generosity, and I just think of how wonderful it is to have such amazing people in our lives to celebrate with us. It truly has made this journey so much fun!


Lastly, here is a belly picture - almost 37 weeks!!! Sorry the quality is not so good, I took it myself....it's big!!!!


Front view WHOA!


Side view!

Appointment update

Well - here's the news:

- gained 3 more pounds - Pounds, Schmounds - that's what I say!!! I'm so over it. I'm as big as a house and that's all there is to it!

- Sweet Isaak is down low, and head down. He is in position. My little boy knows just what to do.

- Big news, we have progress people! I am 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced (thinned out). Those of you that have been there before know that could mean many different outcomes, but mostly it's just good because it means that my body is doing what it's supposed to do to get ready. Dr. S said it could be a week or 3 weeks....just a waiting game at this point!

- Everything else is good, and I go back in a week!


sooooo - until next time! WOO HOO.

Baby Isaak - we are ready for you. And we already love you more than you know!

36 weeks

This has been an ok week. I honestly am not as miserable as I thought I would be. I'm to the point now that every person I see has a comment similar to:

"I bet you're ready for him to be outta there"
"You feelin miserable yet?"
"I bet you can't wait."

.... well of course I'm ready to meet this little guy, and carrying around an extra 30 pounds is never FUN, but I'm doin ok. I'd say the only thing that stands out in my mind right now as being uncomfortable is my HUGE SWELLING FEET. They don't look like my feet, they look like Shrek feet....except they're not green. They look so different I'm considering posting a picture so you can see.

The nursery is nearly done! It's beautiful, pictures to come soon!!

I can almost see the finish line!

My refuge

A good reminder for me, and for whoever else needed to read this today.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
Psalm 18:16

in love

I sit here this morning and smile as Isaak wiggles around in hopes of finding some extra room to play. What he doesn't know is that he will continue to run out of room until he decides to arrive and make his mommy and daddy the happiest people on earth. The way that I feel today cannot be accurately described because there aren't enough words.... but a sense of 'overwhelming gratitude and love' would be a good start. I think back over the past 8 months, and soak in every milestone and every emotion that we've crossed...what an absolute miracle we've been given. This life inside of me has changed Amick and I - and he isn't even here yet.

I can remember for as long as I live wanting to be a "mommy" - but I don't think I ever really realized how much I would yearn for it. And, obviously I won't know the capacity of that love that i'll feel until I see his little face, but it's growing day by day. As his arrival date gets closer and closer my heart just fills even more with excitement and anticipation - and just a longing to hold him, and love him, and do my very best to make sure that he knows how very special and wonderful he is. We prayed for Isaak, we earnestly prayed that God would give him to us - that this pregnancy would be the one - that the fear and problems from our previous miscarriages would be cast far away... and our prayers have been answered.

Isaak has the hiccups right now - every 3 seconds my tummy jumps. It's the best feeling. That means that he's practicing his breathing. My sweet Isaak is getting ready. He will be a strong little guy, and he will be so loved.

I'll leave with a copy of one of the updates I sent out from the very beginning of this pregnancy. Our milestone was hearing the heartbeat....that meant to us that our little baby had sustained life past our previous miscarriage points. It was so huge and such a miraculous day.... I read through it the other day and just cried tears of gratitude for where I stand right now - hiccups and all!

.................................................................


Update #3!!! March 26, 2008

I am extremely blessed to be able to send out another positve update!
On Monday, we went to the doctor, knowing "this was it"....this was the appointment we'd been waiting for! I laid on the table as the tech did the ultrasound, and I saw the sac again, it was still there!! I saw the baby, it was still there TOO, and had grown! AND THEN, as we looked at the baby, I saw a tiny little bulge moving in the center, kind of like a pulse. I asked the tech, "Is that the...." and before i could finish, she nodded and said "Yes, that's the heartbeat". Then she turned up the volume, and the baby's little heartbeat filled the room, at 135 beats per minute! This little baby, only the size of a blueberry is a true living miracle, inside of me.

This day was SOOOOOOOO huge for us.

Once again, tears ran down my face, and my mom, Amick and I breathed a sigh of relief.

The doctor had NOTHING negative to say, and was very re-assuring, telling us that passing this milestone meant that our chances of something bad happening were now less than 1%. He said he was very pleased with everything.

All I can do is thank God for this miracle. I still don't know why our journey has happened the way it did, but I do know that because of it, there is not one part of this pregnancy or this baby that will be taken for granted. And on top of it we have surely learned a thing or two about true faith.

Amick and I cannot thank you enough for your prayers so far, and we ask that you continue to pray, we are only 7 weeks into a 40 week journey!

We are still waiting it out a few more weeks before we let out the news to everyone, but as our close friends and family, I wanted to keep you updated.

I will end with a verse, a verse that came to mind as I sat at my first ultrasound, terrified and worried. My mom referred to the baby as a little mustard seed. Oh, how right she was!!!

The Lord replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree,
'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you."
Luke 17:6

shower photos

I don't have many, but here are a few....I have loved my showers, and all of the wonderful people who threw them for me! We are so blessed, and Isaak is so loved already. Thank you to everyone who came - it meant so much being able to celebrate with those closest to us!!!


Me at my church shower this past weekend.... planned and executed by the shower pro herself - Veronica....



look at how beautiful everything was! And she did it being 38 weeks pregnant - that's a true friend.



look at all of Isaak's gifts, yep that one present is wrapped in the most cuddly blanket ever that grammee(my mom) made for Isaak. I love it!



Here are the preggos at my other shower. Me at 33 weeks, Tonya at 24 weeks, Veronica at 36 weeks. Isaak, Taylor & Paisley all hangin out already. YAY.



Me and my bff Jessica. Jessica, Tonya and my mom put so much time and effort into this shower and it was beautiful. The food - AMAZING! we got to spend time with our closest friends, open tons of good presents for Isaak, and the boys played poker in exchange for diapers!!!



group photo, what a beautiful group of ladies



This is the adorable diaper bag that Michelle gave me at our family shower in Ocala. My Mimi, Aunt Donna & cousin Nicki threw this shower for us, and we were blessed beyond belief....so much love and great presents! Sorry I don't have any good pics from this one


Me and Amick at the Ocala shower.

35 weeks - Appointment update:

Had my doctor's appointment yesterday, and everything went so well. Here's what I know.

* Isaak is head down and getting ready to make his debut. Dr. S said that at this point he should stay where he is. Good news.

* If I went into labor at this point, my doctor wouldn't stop it. Isaak would be just as healthy... (I don't want this, I'm just sayin =)

* Isaak weighs about 4.5 pounds right now, and we're estimating him to weigh around 6.5 - 7.5 when he's born. Yay, my teeny boy.

* I've gained 26 pounds so far, with a 4 pound weight gain in the past 2 weeks....which I'm attributing to poor food choices and fluid retention....YOU SHOULD SEE MY HANDS. You will all be happy to know that I am finally at peace with the weight issues. At this point, I feel like house, I look like a house - and there's not a thing I can do about it. So for the next 5 weeks, me and my extra 26 pounds will be friends.....after that it's farewell.

* I felt so good after our appointment yesterday, Dr. S took the time to talk us through the next few weeks, and said that if we need anything AT ALL, to not even try to call in, just go to triage....he'd rather me be that crazy woman at L&D everyday, than be the one who stays at home the one time she should have gone in. He said "you've got a healthy happy baby in there, and I'm committed to keep it that way". I am blessed to say that I've had no real problems so far - and we are praying for that to continue from now until November.

* My chart actually has my due date as Nov 8??? Why, I don't know , but at this point - every day counts!

* My next appointment is on Oct 15 - and I'll get my first "check" to see if there's any progress goin on. WHOA~!

So, here's to the next 38 days! - or less =) I need a cherry limeade to celebrate all this good news.

I love it!

so close but so far away =)

OK, I've been waiting for this day for awhile now =). Now I can finally say "I'm having a baby NEXT month" Woo hoo!

I'm so sorry my posting has been so scarce. I always have so much to say - but can never put into a logical format for you to read. SORRY!!!!!!!! I know so many of you have been faithful blog checkers every day. I love that you are as excited to meet Isaak as I am.

Here are some updates and some countdowns for you.

* I'm about to hit the 5 week to go mark. I know, I know, 5 weeks to go.....there's not much to that specific number, but I think about really how quickly that can go by and I get so extremely excited.

* I'm comfortably uncomfortable if that makes sense.... I guess the discomfort is to be expected but as of now it's not overbearing. YET. Whenever I look at my hands and feet, I laugh - because they don't look like mine at all. I just hope they go back to normal. I feel like my tummy has stopped growing. I'm sure it hasn't - but it feels that way. Maybe everything else is growing with it so I don't notice. GRRR.

* The nursery is coming along nicely. I walk in there every day when I get home. I love the way it smells, I love the color of the room, I love the carpet, I love seeing his clothes hanging in the closet. We are still missing a few key items... mattress, bedding, changing pad, lamp etc. But it's all coming together one piece at a time. I love it. Last night I just sat on the floor and put together little outfits with matching shoes. They are all so cute, and I just can't wait for him to be here so I can love him everyday!

* We have been so blessed!!!! When I get photos from our showers I will post some. But our friends and family have been sooooo generous and I just can't say enough how grateful we are to have so much love and support. It means everything.

* We have officially completed our our classes. After attending breastfeeding, newborn parenting, and childbirth classes over the past 2 months, you'd think I'd know everything there is to know, but I still feel as clueless as ever. I'm just hoping that maternal instinct does kick in, at least a little bit - because there really is sooooo much to know! I guess I'll know when I know, and I'll learn by going through it.

Countdowns......

days until my due date - 40
days until my shower - 4
days until my next dr's appt - 1
days until i actually meet my little miracle - 20, 30, 40?? who knows.

Here's my other predicament - I've been horrible about posting photos....with a good excuse though. We don't have internet at home, and so I always forget to send the camera to work with Amick so he can post them. But I'm making another promise to get some photos on here by next week. I know you need to see an updated picture, and some nursery photos. Soooo, I'll get busy with that.

Love you all!