for today

God has deposited gifts inside of all of us. Don't be discouraged if yours isn't as visible as someone else's.  The gift of serving in the darkest of rooms is just as valuable to God as the outward gift of "laying hands" on someone. Even "Godly" things can be empty things if not done for the right reason.  Meekness and humility go a long way - as do the gentle in spirit.  Be encouraged today that you are worthy of a gift, you are worthy of being noticed and even if it's not tangible or audible - God has a word to speak into YOUR life, just wait - and don't get caught up in comparison along the way - it's crippling - instead, be genuine and let the Approval come from where it's due... from the very hands that molded you.

 

Be blessed.

Calling to Mind: a needed repost

4/14/13:  

I was sitting in church this morning and began wondering if a certain prayer I've been praying has gone unanswered.  But I had to stop myself and do some more 'calling to mind' (Lamentations 3:21).  I had to start recalling to mind the things that God has already done, the miracles I've already seen, and the many many times God has already proved himself faithful.  And as soon as I did that... I was reminded: this prayer has not gone unheard, it's not unanswered, and I am NOT forgotten.  If you are battling similar thoughts today, read this post and do a little "calling to mind" yourself.  I PROMISE that it will change your thinking.  Be blessed!

ORIGINAL POST: 07/10/12

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:21-23

~~~~~

I remember the days I spent on my knees after a dr. told me that my son had warning spots in each of the chambers in his heart. Spots that raised many red flags for genetic disorders or other heart problems. I also remember the following week as we sat with a peri-natal specialist who did a thorough heart exam and saw absolutely nothing wrong and told us that we had nothing but a perfectly healthy baby boy. A boy who is now a vibrant 3 year old with all the energy in the world. God is most definitely faithful. 

~~~~~

That morning, I prayed and prayed for mercy and grace to cover him. He had made mistakes that had his fate sealed in an envelope in a court room. But when the judge had all the faults laid out in front him he decided to ignore it and pardon his faults and let him walk out without a sentence.  My God is faithful. 

~~~~~

I watched one of my best friends walk through a clear calling of adoption, knowing that it was a process that could take years. But a single phone call placed a precious newborn in her arms before she’d had the chance to finish her adoption profile. A placement that would have normally taken years, was completed in less than 72 hours.  Oh, He is faithful. 

~~~~~

We just celebrated her birthday, she laughed with her grandson and ate hibachi, and I remembered 3 years earlier as they wheeled her back, too young to say goodbye, too soon to have heart problems, but time didn’t matter because open heart surgery was the only solution. I remember prayers prayed hard that God would heal her heart because I was not ready to NOT have a mom. And today, as I make a phone call just to say hi, and she answers in a vibrant healthy voice, I say yes, You are faithful. 

~~~~~

She got the diagnosis after months of trying to conceive, they were given less than 1% chance of ever conceiving on their own. IVF was the immediate and crucial next step. However, I got the phone call not even a month later when their eyes couldn’t believe the positive pregnancy test she held in her hand. She had already conceived when she got that diagnosis.  He is faithful.

~~~~~

We counted the pennies. We cut out the extras. We stepped out in faith & it got harder. We wondered if the bills would get paid – if the work would come in – if we’d made the wrong choice, and I cried, I feared, I wondered if we were worth being provided for. It got worse before it got better – but 2 years later – every bill has been paid, and God made a way when we didn’t think there was a way. He provides and dare I say it again… He is always faithful. 

~~~~~

From the moment I was born, my sin had already determined my fate. My messes and screw ups and ugly thoughts and selfish days and prideful heart only proved that I could not achieve righteousness with my own hands. But He already knew that. He had already gone before me. He sought me out – when I felt the most unworthy and said instead: You are worth it.  You were worth the pain, the blood, the death. My mess became His, and He wiped it clean with a love I could never re-pay. And I presume that’s the way it was meant to be. Undeserved life given back to me, my eternity in His hands, because I chose to accept the gift I could never achieve for myself.  His love saved me – and if I was never given anything else, I could still stand and say my friends…. HE IS FAITHFUL.

What do you recall to mind?

Recall to mind... a NICU stay

I'd only heard of this place.  I knew where it was, and what it was for - but never let my thoughts go beyond that.  There was no reason to.

Until December 20th came along - when I was suddenly informed that I'd be meeting a sweet baby boy 6 weeks earlier than I had planned.

NICU.  A place that we would most definitely become familiar with.

I was flooded with information in the 6 hours that preceded my c-section - so much so that I really wasn't able to process it all. I was only searching for the same reassurance every time "blah blah blah... BUT YOUR BABY WILL BE JUST FINE".

I needed to know that NICU or not, that Jude would be ok.

As I was recovering from the c-section, Amick and other family & friends would come in and out of my room with reports on how beautiful Jude was, how he was doing great, how he looked perfectly healthy - he was just small.  My heart broke a little more each time because I was supposed to be the one noticing all the little things for the first time.  I was supposed to be taking note of his surprisingly full head of red hair, counting his teeny fingers, snuggling his sweet little 4 pound self.  But I couldn't until my epidural wore off.

Finally - the next day after the epidural had been disconnected - Amick wheeled me through those double doors, introduced me to the most detailed and thorough 2 minute hand wash I'd ever seen.  He showed me where they kept the parent name badges, told me how Jude was known as "baby boy Cutler" and then showed me the next set of doors that with a push of a button would lead me to his little bedside.

And there he was. tubes and all. a perfect 4 pound mixture of the best of both of us.  He looked so peaceful even with all of the cords, and beeps, and monitors and tubes.  I was so overwhelmed.

We were told so much all at once that it was hard to comprehend, but the main things I remember comprehending were: He needed to learn to breathe on his own, eat on his own, maintain his body temperature and gain weight.  No problem, right?  As soon as he could master all of that - we could go home.

Within a day he had the breathing thing down pat.  No more cannula. Check.

Within three days he was maintaining his temps just fine as long as we kept him bundled.  No more heating lamps. Check.

Eating was the bump in the road for us.  For 7 days we worked with him on taking a bottle, actually finishing the bottle and keeping it down.  We had lots of ups and downs, and several times he had to back on the feeding tube - but we kept pressing and praying through. 

I was so exhuasted - mentally - physically & emotionally.  We would visit Jude in the NICU, and my heart would want to stay by his side forever, but I had a four year old at home, a body that needed rest, I was pumping every three hours, AND to top it all off it was Christmas!!

Each day would pass and we would hope it'd be the day that he finished all of his required feedings, but one bad feeding would set us back at the starting line.  See, the requirement was for a baby to finish all feedings for 48 hours straight before discharge was even an option.  We started over several times.  Finally, by day 8, something clicked and he became a pro.  We were so proud.

The final hurdle was maintaining and gaining weight.  His physician had us add a fortifier to his bottle which gave him extra calories, and once we did that for a couple of days he was gaining weight just fine.

Finally after 9 long days - we heard the word - DISCHARGE!!!!  I was excited and scared all at the same time.

All he had to do now was pass a carseat test.  He had to spend 90 minutes in the carseat, buckled in - without dropping his heart rate.  He didn't pass the first time, his heart rate fell twice.  So we were told he could try again the next day.  He did pass the second time around, and within 3 hours we were signing discharge papers and were headed home.

There was so much that happened during those 10 days that would take me hours to write out - and some of it I've already forgotten because I'm writing this 8 weeks after the fact, but what I can tell you with certainty is - a NICU stay is NOT for the faint of heart.  But I'm thankful for peace it gave my heart - knowing Jude was given the best care possible.

Again. NICU... not my plan. But part of my story.  A story that keeps surprising me with each turn of the page. 

Be blessed.

Coffee, a red head, friendship and other musings...

OK.  I have to blog.  For my sanity.  Because everyday that goes by that I don't blog - I feel like something is missing.  Because life is happening whether I blog or not.  Because I want to write it out so I don't forget. 

This post will be random - because that is what surrounds me lately anyway.  Randomness.  No real order to things - just running on coffee, cat naps, 4 year old hugs, 2 month cheeky grins, and forehead kisses from hubby telling me I'm doing a great job. 

Enjoy. 

I have a little red-head.  What I thought was strawberry blonde when my eyes first met Jude's - has now become a beautiful red that we've fallen in love with.  He's doing great by the way.  One look at his chubby cheeks and you'd never know he arrived at 4 pounds.  He is 10 weeks old.  How that happened so fast amazes me - although it shouldn't because of how fast Isaak grew up.

Comparison.  What do you know about that word?  I'll tell you what I've learned... it is the STEALER of JOY. Really it is.  Here's an example: as soon as Jude turned 8 weeks - a fog came over me.  I could not stop thinking about the fact that when Isaak was 8 weeks he was sleeping through the night. I was getting 9 whole hours of complete sleep.  I started longing for that.  I started comparing Isaak and Jude and trying to figure out how to make that happen.  I obsessed over it so much so - that I was losing sight of how fast these itty-bitty-Jude-days are flying by.  Now here he is 10 weeks old - and still not sleeping much at night, but my comparison, and obsessing and worrying hasn't changed a thing.  He's Jude, not Isaak.  He's going to do things in his own Jude way, and the sooner I embrace that - the sooner joy will move in and cause the fog to clear out.

And let me just say that applies to many areas of life - not just newborn days.

'Keeping up with the Jones' is not really all that fun anyway.  God is teaching us (my family) that keeping up with Him is more important.  All this time He knew the plan.  He knew His plan was for Isaak.  And then for Jude.  And all the time in between was heartbreaking - yes, but also life changing too.  And three years ago when I was clinging desperately to MY plan - He still knew.  And here I am now - seeing little bits of it unfold - and it really is so much better than what I thought was best.  See, my whole life I thought I'd pop out my kids in my early/mid twenties, all 2 years apart and be done by 30. Bahahaha!!!  I am now a HUGE advocate of having kids 4 years apart.  Call it lazy, call it whatever you want but it's beautiful in so many ways.  And it's my life, my family, and it works for us and we love it.  And Isaak makes a darn good diaper fetcher if I say so myself.

I'm becoming a coffee snob. Uh oh.  It's happening. I'm afraid a day is coming that I will turn my nose at the thought of drinking gas station coffee. Yipes.  It all happened as I was going on my 4th straight week of NO SLEEP.  I realized that if coffee was sustaining me - that it might as well be good coffee.  So I splurged.  I used a Christmas gift from my lovely mom-in-law and bought a french press.  And it was life changing - well as much as coffee can change a life anyway ;)  My ever-loved and cherished Tassimo has been replaced, and dare I say permanently?!? GASP. Who would have guessed.  I will now accept any suggestions on the most delicious ground coffee out there... What do you recommend?

The best of friends are ALREADY right in front of us.  We've all been there.  We uphold the best of the best on a pedestal.  Starting in junior high, through college, into family life, through church, mommy groups, the workplace, the ball field and every social platform in between.  We can spend so much time aspiring to gain the acceptance of the most admired - that we sometimes damage the foundation of relationships we already have.  The ones that have always been there - they are as normal as they get - but when did normal not mean anything but wonderful?  Amick and I are taking on a challenge of sorts - to be intentional with our dinner table.  Yes - to reach out to those we may not know well - BUT ALSO to strengthen the relationships of the people we already do life with - not JUST the ones we wish we could do life with.  I'd rather be an inch wide and a mile deep, than a mile wide and an inch deep.  If you know what I mean. 

Pet peeve:  Use hashtags correctly or don't use them at all.  oh my goodness. #Imhavingareallybaddayandneedsomecoffee IS NOT A HASHTAG.  Neither is #ilovebeingamommytomysonsisaakandjude  Can I please get some support in this area? I know that my mere blog post will not change anything, but I just had to get that out there.  I don't really feel like going into deep definitions of hashtags, but I'm certain it doesn't involve 100+ characters.  Oh well, it's just my own pet peeve. Enough venting.  And just to clarify, if you are a poster of mile long hashtags, I don't hate you - I promise. :)

I must start meal planning.  I confess, we've been living off of frozen dinners and fast food.  Terrible I know.  I miss my pioneer woman cooking days, and at least the weeks where I cooked the majority of nights.  It's all so chaotic now - and I really can't tell you the last time I took an actual shopping list to the store.  How do you guys do it?  How do you plan your meals and do you have any life-saving tips?  I'd love to hear.

We are on the same team.  I'm not one to say that I regularly have visions or prophetic dreams.  I know people that do - and it's truly a gift.  But I did have ONE. A very clear one.  And it came at a time when my family needed clear direction.  It spoke to me deeply and as had a deep impact on how we now view our ministry as a family.

It was a Sunday morning and I could see our city from above and could see all of the churches during worship.  I saw God lift all of the physical buildings from the churches and the only thing left was the people inside.  And suddenly, everyone reacted in fear, in shock, covering themselves as if their clothes had been taken from them.  I then heard God say "My beloved, what are you doing? You are on the same team... YOU ARE ON THE SAME TEAM"

For so long it's been: join a church. only go to that church. don't socialize with other churches. period.  But God is seriously doing a shifting.  And it's not just in me.  He allowed me to see that vision - to see that everyone became so fearful and insecure once God removed the church walls - WHY?  Because the security was in the walls of the building - not in the God they were coming to worship.  I heard a pastor say last weekend "It's impossible for ONE church to save everyone - so it's time we stop acting like it".  God's desire is for his people to be unified.  As ONE body.  And I think that applies to our churches as well.  It's time we started joining hands instead of chopping off fingers.  I believe there will truly be a revolution for Jesus in our city when that happens, and I think it can happen... but as long as we're consumed with our own buildings and our names - we won't really see the true life changers in our city rise up. These life changers - they aren't all underneath one roof - they are under multiple roofs, under multiple denominations, with different opinions, sometimes different approaches but ALL of them serving the same God.  And it's time we started acting like we all serve the same God.

Fact: I will start blogging more.  Some posts that will come eventually:  A Jude nursery tour.  Details of his NICU stay.  And hopefully some new cooking and crafting adventures.  Just bear with me.  I'm running on a 2.5 hour schedule run by none other than Jude Liam himself.

Be blessed.

Hey Jude: 34 weeks. a curve ball and a birth story.

oh my. 

can I just say that again? 

OH MY! 

In MY plan, today I would have been at work - finishing up some last minute things in preparation for my leave to begin.  See, in MY plan... my last day was supposed to be Jan 11, which was going to give me over 2 weeks to rest, prepare and make sure we were 100% ready to bring a little baby Jude into our home.

In MY plan, I had decided that induction was not an option this time around, and I would let my body decide when Jude was ready... even if it meant going past my due date.  I was even in the phases of finalizing my decision to try natural childbirth.

In MY plan, I was in control, things would be perfect - everything would be done on time - and I - I would be so very proud of myself.

Well... I really should just laugh at all of that - because, shouldn't I know by now that God's plans are always SO. MUCH. HIGHER?  And shouldn't I already know that when God is in the business of miracles - He does things in His timing. His way. for His glory.  I know that.  and I especially know that now.

Let me just rewind to this almost 3 weeks ago.  

Wednesday, December 19th 6:00pm 
...when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

I was waiting on urine and lab results to come back testing me for preeclampsia.  I had fully expected a mild trace of protein in my urine - which would mean that preeclampsia could be around the corner if I didn't start taking it easy.  I was waiting for the phone call saying that I would be on bed rest. In my mind, that really was the worst case scenario. 

I was NOT expecting the phone call I got instead:  "Christy, it's time to have a baby."

I YELLED AND CRIED FRANTICALLY.... 

"NO, it is NOT time to have a baby!!!  

I am not ready.  

Jude is not ready.  

This is not the plan.  

The NICU is not in my PLAN.  

A premature baby IS NOT IN MY PLAN.  

Do you hear me?"

I sobbed into the phone as I pleaded with the nurse not to do this to me.  I cried so hard I could hardly breathe.  I was so wrecked that I couldn't even catch my own breath.  The doctor agreed to let me have one more night in my bed... but wanted to see me first thing that next morning.

Thursday, December 20th 8:00am 
Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10

I had an ultrasound, and saw my sweet baby boy so cozy in there - just swimming around - practicing his breathing, and hanging out for what we all thought would be another month at least.  Then the red flags started coming.  

Blood pressure kept rising,

notches in the umbilical cord, 

a double nuchal cord (cord wrapped twice around the neck), 

sections of fluid were low... 

and the list went on and on.  

I waited in the room for my doctor - terrified of what he would say.  He walked in and just took a deep breath.  I started crying again.  He said that the pre-eclampsia was not just there it was severe - and my body was responding in ways that were negatively affecting me and the baby.  

He said that if my health was not in such jeopardy, he'd consider bed rest, but at this point we were risking fetal death and/or placental abruption.  He said that the only cure was delivery within 24/48 hours.  I begged him for another opinion just to confirm that this was the best decision.  So he sent me to a maternal/fetal specialist for another rundown.  

10:30am  
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

Well, the specialist's opinion was the same.  

Delivery.

In the mean time more lab results came in showing my platelets were dropping and my liver was being affected - which made the doctor hurry things even more.  

How did I not know it was this serious?  I was a lot sicker than I had thought.

12:00 noon 
Call unto me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you know not.  Jeremiah 33:3

I was admitted to the hospital.  It all was happening so fast, but one look at this swollen face made me realize why it was happening so fast.

I hadn't packed a bag.  or installed a car seat.  My house was a wreck.  Everything was chaos.   It was almost Christmas.  Plans were being shattered left and right. Oh. My. Goodness.  My head just kept spinning.  

Oh God, please keep this baby safe.  Please hold him and protect his sweet perfect body through whatever happens in the hours ahead.

2:00pm 
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.  Isaiah 26:3 

The next decision was a tough one.  Do we induce labor and deliver Jude vaginally or do we move ahead with a C-section?  My doctor felt that a C-section was the safest option because of the risks to Jude and my own health, but he said that he would let me attempt an induction if that's what I really wanted to do.  

NEVER in my life - did I think I'd be the one voluntarily choosing a C-section - but as I thought about it - I was flooded with peace, and I know that God IS PEACE, and it was like I knew.  Funny thing was, Amick was at home and had the same confirmation without even talking to me.  God literally washed us in His peace - without us even knowing it.   C-section it would be.  It was scheduled for 5:30. We'd have a baby by dinner time.

Updates were sent out, family was driving in from Tallahassee, more from Ocala, our loved ones were rallying around us, and from near and far the prayers were flooding in, and I can't help but imagine what God must have thinking as so many 'Jude' prayers went up to Him. 

The next three hours were really a blur - as I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening.  My mom looked at me through tear-filled eyes and comforted me with her presence.  My husband was such a rock in his support for me and this baby that was getting ready to make such an abrupt entrance.  My very sick body was ready for this - I just had to let my heart and mind catch up.  

5:00pm 
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters... Psalm 23:2
 

Pre-op started and I really can't put together many details from this point on.  I remember severe heartburn.  I remember getting into the wheelchair to be rolled back to the OR.  I remember feeling so out of control - but feeling relieved knowing I was a child of a God who WAS IN CONTROL.  I remember seeing my mother-in-law running down the hall as she had just made it in time to hug mine and Amick's neck.  I remember seeing my rockstar husband.

It was time.

Here we go.

5:45pm 
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Isaiah 43:2

The operating room was cold and bright.  The epidural process was very rough on me but before I knew it I was laid out on the table and the blue sheet went up.

Amick sat at my left side and cheered me on and prayed like never before.  He rubbed my head and as sweaty and delirious as I was I knew that he was there with me.  Minutes passed and the surgery started.  I felt the pressure of what was going on but not the pain, I just wanted to know my baby was ok, and then I heard it....

 6:05pm

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

 

The loudest most room-filling cry filled my ears.

It was my baby boy - alive and screaming at the top of his lungs.

It was my miracle entering this world with boldness.

Amick lost it - and my body couldn't feel much but I felt the warmest tears of thanks roll down my cheeks.  And then I felt that same warmth fill my whole body.  My miracle was here!!!!

The nurse brought a little teeny baby Jude around the curtain and my eyes met his...

I took the deepest breath of joy.  I noticed his eyes, they were like his brothers, but his hair was so much different, almost blonde, and everything about him from his head to his toes was perfect. He was perfect, just small - weighing in at 4lbs 6oz.

I spent the next hour or two in recovery - physically, emotionally & mentally, and Jude went to the NICU to be checked out.

All in all - in my heart of hearts it all made sense the way things happened.  Why, you ask? 

Well, because...

What started as a miracle had to end with a miracle.

and that's ok with me.

My heart was full. And the meaning of my son's name rang even more true in my ears.

God, we give you PRAISE AND THANKS FOR THIS STRONG-WILLED WARRIOR.

Jude Liam made his entrance 6 weeks early on December 20, 2012.

...Recovery & NICU story to come in part 2. :)

Be blessed.

Hey Jude: prayer request

It's 4:00am.  I should be asleep. Or at least trying to. Or tossing back and back forth from my left side to the right because neither are really that comfortable right now.

But I'm wide awake, sitting on the couch while the rest of my family sleeps. 

Because really - if you don't know by now - life doesn't go as planned. Hardly ever.

It's been a rough week - and before I even had a chance to blog about the start of it - we were thrown a huge curve ball yesterday that changes everything.

Let me start with Monday - and just know that it was a very off day.  I didn't feel right, and was very exhausted, anxious and just not myself.  Which led me to check my blood pressure.  157/98.  Not good for a pregnant gal.  Over the course of the night - it got higher which led to stress - which then led to contractions - which then landed us in the labor and delivery triage.  We were sent home a couple hours later after my blood pressure came down and the contractions stopped. 

I was told I needed to complete a 24 hour urine collection so that they could check my levels for preeclampsia.  I did that yesterday - fulling thinking that worst case scenario I would probably end up on some sort of bed rest for the rest of this pregnancy.

Fast forward to last night's phone call...  Nurse says that several levels came back high - and that combined with the high blood pressure was concerning and that I needed to come in the next day for an ultrasound, stress test & another blood pressure check.  OK.  that's fine.  I can do that.  Right?

Well fast forward another 30 minutes and my phone rang again.  The nurse called back with words I wouldn't have expected in a million years.  "Christy, Dr S. looked over everything again in more detail - and we need you to come in tonight to have this baby."

I lost it.  Started crying hysterically - telling her I couldn't do that - it was too early - Jude was not ready.  I am not ready.  I pleaded with her - asking her if there was anything ANYTHING we could do to hold off.  She didn't seem hopeful - but checked with the Dr. again and he agreed to let me stay home through the night as long as I stayed in bed. But that the next morning we would go over everything.

Which brings me to now... unable to sleep, left to a million thoughts in my head of how I am so not ready for this.  I am trying to prepare myself for the reality that a 34 week delivery is probably imminent - and I cannot tell you how much peace I need right now.

I was supposed to work on Christmas crafts tonight.  I had my shopping list ready to make english toffee.  The nursery isn't ready.  I haven't washed the first baby item, or packed the first bag - and I've never even considered time spent in the NICU with my baby.  Induction was NOT on my to do list this time around.

I'm trying to pinpoint what went wrong - and what I could have done differently.  Preeclampsia is apparently very serious - and apparently my body has taken it from a mild case to serious in less than a week.

There is so much more to say - but I don't want to give any more thoughts to the fears and the unknowns - because I know of an enemy who would love for me to reside there.

So I'm clinging desperately to a Prince of Peace - who has carried me this far.  Who has formed this miracle - and will guide us the rest of the way - even if it's not how I planned.

Please pray for us.  Pray for my body to regulate.  Pray that tomorrow we are at peace with whatever option is the MOST HEALTHY option for me & for Jude.


I will update as I can.

Hey Jude: Week 33

This week has started out much better than the last few that I can remember.  I am FINALLY able to breathe through my nose without the help of a decongestant – and I’m finding that a small amount of energy is returning to me. Not a lot – but enough to feel like I can brave each day.  That blasted flu lasted almost an entire month…and I’m sure you’re about as tired of hearing about it as I am talking about it.  SOOO, I SAY: GOODBYE FLU!!!!

I had a Dr. appt on Monday for my 2 week check up.  I gained 4 pounds, which if you want me to break it down for you, I’m pretty sure that is 1 pound baby gained, 1 pound crappy food consumed, and 2 WHOLE pounds of water weight that I’m carrying in my ankles, feet, face and hands!!!!!!!!!!  Dr. S. said that I was measuring right on track and also checked the position of the baby and said with certainty that he was most definitely head down.  That made me smile.  Only bad news I got was that there was protein and white blood cells in my urine, which is a sure sign of a bladder infection – so yesterday I had to start yet another round of antibiotics.  Geez.  I guess the positive side is that at least I’m getting all this sickness and infection out of the way now.  And I’m glad they spotted the infection when they did – so that I didn’t end up with a full blown UTI or kidney infection on Christmas Day.

We had the LOVELIEST shower this past Friday night.  Four of my closest friends worked their bootay’s off and went over and above and beyond to love on us and this baby.  Our home quickly filled with some of the most amazing people I know – people who gave up their Friday night to celebrate this time with us.  

There was so much love in the house – I was honestly overwhelmed.  It’s impossible to find words or actions to display the amount of gratitude I feel in my heart.  I can just say that we’re so very blessed.  Jude is so blessed, and we received some wonderful gifts and now have a great head start on our diaper stash!

Week: 33

Total Weight Gain: 14 pounds

My Body:  I’ve started having some crazy pains in my lower stomach… everything I read says its more ligament pains, but it hurts when I walk or get up or sit down.  I’m moving into that phase where I feel like I need to pee every 20 minutes, and the swelling is still very very evident.  I guess I can say now that everyone is right when they say that every pregnancy is different.  This one has been much more difficult on me.  SO WORTH IT, but difficult.  I shall persevere though.

Cravings:  Nothing really specific this week.

Nursery: The nursery is in complete chaos right now, but that's a good thing.  It means we have a lot of stuff, it just all needs to be put away and organized.  I can't wait to see the blogpost title: "Jude Nursery Tour".  I'd say to look for that in about 3 weeks :) 

Sleep: Actually has been a little better this week! Thank you God for some unexpected rest.

Baby items bought and received: Oh how blessed we are... we now have the glider, baby bath, diapers & wipes, baby sleeper/rocker, some new baby clothes,  diaper bag, lots of little essentials and several handmade items that I absolutely treasure.  When I'm not lazy on the couch, I promise to post lots of pictures of all these things I adore!

Best Baby Moment: Our baby shower FOR SURE!

Goals: Stain/paint the dresser so I can start putting little teeny baby things away!

Be blessed!