I am so thankful that during my pregnancy with Jude, I committed to document the experience week by week. It is so neat to look back and reminisce - remember - recall... because a year isn't that long, but it is so long if you're wanting to to remember the little things.
And those little things gave way to a four-pound-life-changing thing that absolutely consumes my days. In the best-overwhelmed-way possible. But it's the reason I am just now sitting down to give you a pregnancy update. A 21 week update. A holy-cow-I'm-over-half-way-through update.
I feel like the little dentist youtube kid in saying: "Is this real life?!?"
Oh it's real alright. Twenty-one-weeks real! :) I still can't believe this most days, but a round tummy, a kicking boy and a ticking clock are making the reality sink in.
Here's where I'm at, and where I've been:
1. I dealt with 6 weeks of constant nausea/exhaustion. Six weeks that I thought truly would be the end of me. Seriously. The intensity was magnified because I was still nursing Jude at the same time. Exclusively. He hadn't even started solid foods yet. So 24/7 my body was going hormone crazy trying to sustain a pregnancy, grow a baby, a placenta and everything else, while at the same time trying to provide enough milk to sustain a growing 6 month old. Add never-ending morning sickness to it all and you have a recipe for disaster. I really don't have the words to tell you the sheer exhaustion I experienced. There were days that I couldn't even lift my head off the couch and it took all I had to just feed Jude. I'm not sure the grand canyon could have held all the grace Amick gave me during that time. It was bad. But it's in the past. :)
2. Well as the nausea started to fade, around week 14, I thought surely that I'd start feeling better and regaining my energy. Well the exact opposite happened. Around my birthday, I hit a wall. I felt like a 78 year old in a 30 year old body. I would stand at the changing table to change Jude and nearly pass out. I felt like I'd just ran a marathon. Simple every day tasks seemed impossible, and I had terrible headaches, no energy and just felt miserable. Called my doctor, did some research and a lot of praying trying to figure out what was going on in my body, and I felt like God spoke over me through the answers. It was as if He said: "Christy, my desire is to take care of you, and heal you, but YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR PART." It all boiled down to the fact that my body was nutritionally depleted, big time. Everything I had was going to the pregnancy first, and then to Jude from breastfeeding, and because I hadn't been taking care of myself - there was NOTHING left for me. My body was letting me know that. It was shutting down. So I finally had a peace that it was time to wean Jude. As much as I treasured the nursing relationship we had, the one I'd worked SO hard for while he was a preemie - I knew it was time. I had a ton of bloodwork done that revealed I was extremely vitamin D deficient, and so I started a heavy supplement along with my prenatal. I started some protein supplements as well as upping my water intake. All of those things combined have been in place for about a month now, and let me tell you - I feel like a whole new person. I feel better now - then I have in months. And I'm relieved - because it was truly awful. I am just so happy to be feeling somewhat normal again.
3. This pregnancy has been complication free so far. The baby is healthy, physically and genetically and growing right on track. My doctor sees no increased risks, and doesn't think that preeclampsia will reoccur. I am praying that it doesn't and doing everything in my power to prevent it. I am praying for a full term baby with no complications. Join me will you?
4. I have gained about 3 pounds so far, pretty good for being over half way through, but I suspect that will increase dramatically in the weeks to come.
5. It is most definitely a boy, and we most definitely do not have a name yet. Kinda scary actually - because we have none to even choose from. The perfect name will have to fall out of the sky, I suppose. :)
6. I'm scared. A lot of the time. I feel completely inadequate in my ability to care for a 5 year old, a 14 month old and a newborn. Oh my goodness. I just pray so hard that God will affirm the ability and meet me where I fall short. I need a lot of things. Patience, rest, peace, and an understanding that goes beyond head knowledge. Oh Lord, please provide those things.
I have a couple belly pics and ultrasound photos that I will post with my next update, and hopefully that will be sooner than later. But I hear a crying baby - so I guess that's it for now....
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