There are some things you need to know first, so that you can understand the miracle of the whole thing. There was a lot I didn't share publicly the last couple months of my pregnancy - because I didn't want to hear all of the negative feedback... but I worried a lot about how Brooks' birth would happen.
I had planned early on in the pregnancy to attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). My Dr. said I was a great candidate - and after having a terrible C section with Jude - I really REALLY wanted to avoid that again if at all possible. I was really content with that decision until about 2/3 way through the pregnancy when fear and worry and risks took over my mind, and all I could think about were the 'what ifs'. What if I was the 1% who would have a uterine rupture. What if I was the one who couldn't do it. Anyway, I prayed and prayed and researched so much - just wanting peace to come - and for me to move forward in confidence. Finally the peace came. :)
The only stipulation to attempting a VBAC was that I had to go into labor on my own. Induction/use of pitocin increases risks of rupture, so if I didn't go into labor by 41 weeks, I'd automatically have a C-section. Well 36 weeks, 37, 38, 39 all came and went with no progress in dilation, so I'd convinced myself that my body couldn't do it and I almost scheduled a C-section to just be done with it.
But around lunch time on my due date (Feb 27), my body decided to come to the rescue. The contractions started and they were fierce, and things happened so quickly. We left for the hospital around 2:30pm, and by 5:00 I was in labor and delivery, 6 cm dilated and begging for an epidural. Things went quickly and beautifully. By 9:30pm I was fully dilated. I did 3 rounds of pushes and out came a beautifully perfect baby boy weighing exactly 8 pounds. He had a head full of dark hair and came out screaming at the top of his lungs. They laid that amazing boy right on my chest and we both fell in love. He nursed right away, and we've been inseparable since. From start to finish the entire thing was perfect, and I was able to fully experience a delivery that I'd prayed for. A delivery that my body was able to do on it's own. Our bodies are beautiful things, created in God's image, and it was so amazing to see it do it's thing!!!!
Born on his due date
February 27, 2014 at 10:08pm
20.75 inches long
We named him Brooks Arrow Cutler. Brooks meaning peaceful, life-giving, and from a story in 1 Kings, a sign of God's provision and care for his children. Arrow, meaning straight, and taken from a scripture in Psalms that says:
"Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."
This baby boy is the culmination of so much joy, so many miracles in our lives, and a huge part of the redemptive and restorative thread that has woven so beautifully through our story.
I would love to sit here and write and write and write in detail every small thing that happened as God gave us this third baby boy, but for now time won't allow.
I just needed to at least get it out, so that my readers, who have been along for the ups and downs of this journey could rejoice too!
We are so blessed.